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What are the appropriate approaches towards sex activity for proper internal alchemy practice or Qigong practice. We could not expect a absolute abstinence, could we? Therefore, could you please offer some suggestion or ways to open our mind? Thanks!
A very interesting topic, I have to confess!
As a most important behavior, sexual activity plays the role for human reproduction and its derivative works as the indispensable accompanying people's whole life time. In fact, no compatible combination with proper sex activity the Qigong and inner alchemy practice cannot proceed very successfully, because, to tell the truth, both Qigong and inner alchemy practice are but means for health preservation from the beginning. Give such fact, it is very easy to invite uproarious debate and misunderstanding within a state like China. Here, I like to quote some words from some ancient Chinese classics as testament because this is the best way not to invite too much misunderstanding. It is not mean here we advocate sexual indulgence or absolute abstinence, it is the moderate. Hope it can be helpful to open up our mind a little bit.

1. Chapter 41 of Tao Te Ching (translation by James Legge)carries the following lines:

Scholars of the highest class, when they hear about the Tao, earnestly carry it into practice.
Scholars of the middle class, when they have heard about it, seem now to keep it and now to lose it.
Scholars of the lowest class, when they have heard about it, laugh greatly at it.
If it were not (thus) laughed at, it would not be fit to be the Tao.

Here please pay attention to the line "Scholars of the lowest class, when they have heard about it, laugh greatly at it. If it were not (thus) laughed at, it would not be fit to be the Tao." Not because the scholars of low class could not understand the arts easily but also because there have some contents they deem indecent in the ancient feudal China. Health preservation practice should start from the very indecent, therefore Lao Tzu offered the following motto: "The tree which fills the arms grew from the tiniest sprout; the tower of nine storeys rose from a (small) heap of earth; the journey of a thousand li commenced with a single step."

2. Chapter two of The Yellow Emperor's Classic of Internal Medicine (translation by Liangsheng Wu) carries the follow phases:

Yellow asked: “But how to regulate properly the energies of Yin and Yang?” Qibo answered: “If one can regulate Yin and Yang according to the physiological rule of seven disadvantages and eight advantages of men and women, one will promise longevity, if one can not do it properly, one would become early ageing.”

“The Tiangui (substance origins from the kidney essence necessary for regulation of growth and reproduction) of man exhausts at the age of 64 (8x8). When he is 40 (5x8) one half of his Yin energy is left over, and his actions in daily life become weak. When he is 50, his blood and energy decline and his body becomes clumsy. As the essence and blood are insufficient to nourish oneself, his eyes and ears are no more acute. At the age of 60 which is approaching 64 (8x8), his Tiangui becomes exhausted, his kidney being declined and he he becomes impotent. The kidney energy is the primordial true energy, when it is declines, the solid and hollow organs energies will all be weakened and can no more nourish the nine orifices and they will be no more facile. Since the Yang energy below is feeble and the Yin energy above is overabundant, it causes the tears to come out. This is the case when one fails to regulate the Yin and Yang properly and causes early ageing. ”

“Therefore, when one knows how to regulate the Yin and Yang properly will make his body strong and his body decrepit and senile when one not knowing how to regulate it. All people live by drawing support from the energies of heaven and earth, but some of them live a long life and some die early due to their different achievements of health preservation. This is because a wise man can preserve his health before senility while a stupid man can not discover the fact until his senility has occurred. Thus a wise man can remain strong constantly and have enough essence and blood to spare, while a stupid man is always short of essence and blood. When one’s essence and blood are ample, his body will be healthy and strong, his eyes and ears will be able to see and hear clearly, for an aged man, he can still have a strong body, for a young man, he will be even stronger.”

Here the "seven disadvantages and eight advantages of men and women" makes up the underlying principle for carrying out healthy sex activity. By adhering to such rules people can prevent Tiangui from becoming exhausted, remain strong constantly, have enough essence and blood to spare, and to have eyes and ears see and hear clearly even people become aged.

3. There is another interesting chapter in Tao Te Ching which keep to invite people to contemplate a lot. With the above introduction hope it can further open our mind a little bit. This is chapter 61 (translation by James Legge), as presented below:

What makes a great state is its being (like) a low-lying, down-flowing (stream);--it becomes the centre to which tend (all the small states) under heaven.

(To illustrate from) the case of all females:--the female always overcomes the male by her stillness.
Stillness may be considered (a sort of) abasement.

Thus it is that a great state, by condescending to small states, gains them for itself; and that small states, by abasing themselves to a great state, win it over to them. In the one case the abasement leads to gaining adherents, in the other case to procuring favour.

The great state only wishes to unite men together and nourish them; a small state only wishes to be received by, and to serve, the other. Each gets what it desires, but the great state must learn to abase itself.
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